Cupcake Chatz

You're allowed to feel two ways at once. You know, deuces. Today, I feel overcome with grief and joy. My grown tail had to shake it down the expressway to get another procedure on my neck. The second in a month that is. With my crew in tow. I hit them with the proverbial "fellas let's be out" at the ripe twilight of the day's break.

We got breakfast and funds for the tolls and then we sped on. Driving fifty minutes away there and back. The boys waited while I got stuck in my neck. Then the facility sent me on my merry little way to drive us back to our humble abode.

The flipside of sorrow or grief is joy. The joy is having him. Yes, I could have ended his life, but God thought I was worth saving. Who was I not to think his life wasn't worth it?

I could ask God to let me wrinkle my nose like on and be healed. Not likely. This is my thorn in the flesh. I could lament. Or I could give thanks and remember on hard days that God regarding my behavior still chooses me.

He sees when I'm tired and just tucks me in for the night. After all He has endured with me He still sits and talks to me. He saved me from danger. He provides for me. Feeds me. Clothes me. Keeps me in my right mind and still the list goes on.

And yet when He sees me, He sees joy! So, no matter what "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10). On good days and on bad days. On okay days and meh days too. Even on fantastic days and Father why hast thou forsaken me days as well.

He promised that in all of it, two things would be true. He would be with you (you + Him). And in it, yes, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).

-Deuces

Dear Aja, I love you. I know you've been hurting and in a place of solitude. I listened to "your" song today. You know the one that says, "If you could read my book, you'd feel my pain on every page."

Yeah, that one. Today, it resonated so well with what we recently read, but ultimately knew. You spent years accustomed to having pain with your pleasure. Then came a time when pain was no longer your vice. You had to walk out your story to let pleasure ensue.

So, dear Aja. I want you to remember this tale. The tale of a woman who resigned to give up. One who was talked about. Yes, the one who was married and couldn't produce is what they would say. The one who couldn't possibly be loved by God, they would utter. It had to be far from any stretch of the imagination they would think, but God saved the best for last.

Know this, even if you follow His plan to a tee we can still be met with waiting. In that waiting, you can find that you'd probably do something you normally would have never done, but it's not of works lest any man should boast.

We fall down, but we get back up. Sarah fell. She told her husband to commit adultery so she could raise the child as her own. And still God birthed promise through her. Maybe God had to wait until she was all tired out of her own will to Bless her with His.

Not my will, but His be done.

-Blessings

What can you say about a year that brought so many highs and lows? Thank you!! As I sit here writing to you with my belly consumed with joy of the awaited bundle that kicks me from within. I reflect on my posture of position for the year. It's been to focus on the "joy"… Jesus Over You! It's been my focused phrase for the year.

Honestly, I've had so many things that have brought sorrow to me in one full year, but on the flip side, there has been immense joy in so many ways, too!

I stopped letting people rule, run, and reign over me, especially if they were not the Son. Their mindsets, judgment, and goals, even if they were pure, were not what God designed for me, so I put them out of my mind and some out of my life literally.

So, as the year wraps up and the holidays come to a close. I have resolved to have no resolution or proclamation to stand on, but I am making myself more available for what the Lord wants in and from me. I'm saying goodbye, so long, and adios to a year that has helped me transform. I'm just holding the Master's hand.

I don't want to have it all figured out. In the upcoming year, I just wanna be. I wanna be all God made me. I wanna be the woman and mother He's called me. I just wanna be me!

So, so long 2024 and Hello 2025. Let's bring in and ring in the new, new God has for you!

Blessings